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How to Let Yourself Go During the Holidays

I couldn’t have said this better myself – go ahead and give yourself a “damn good reason to set doomed New Year’s resolutions”! Or just enjoy the funny read – I especially like the part about the cookie dough – it’s so good! 😉

White Elephant in the Room

elephant_greekyogurt‘Tis the season for guilt. From too-many-drumsticks guilt to you-have-a-present-for-me-and-I-don’t-have-a-present-for-you guilt, we all indulge in some good old fashioned self-shaming during the holidays.

From the moment the school supplies go on clearance to make way for the Iron Man costumes, the holiday expectations are high. This year we will get all our shopping done early, we will send the best holiday card ever, we will remember to thaw the turkey, and we will – in the words of everyone who dramatically refuses anything that even looks like it has butter in it – “be good.”

Then, inevitably, when the red and green M&Ms go on clearance to make way for the Iron Man Valentines, we reflect on a season filled with not enough time and not enough butter. I propose that this year we indulge a little more, stress a little less, and give ourselves damn good reason to set…

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My Letter to the Elevator

Dear Elevator Doors with Mirrors on the Inside,

I understand we have a love/hate relationship, but i’m beginning to think that I hate you more than I love you. I LOVE that you’re always there for me like nothing else, but i’m becoming irritated by your daily activity.  I’m not liking that you’re always there on a bad hair day, a bloated day, an unknown-rip-in-the-stocking day, a before-I-put-makeup-on morning, the occasional HORRIBLE zit day….and these are all days that I refuse to look at you but you just won’t let up! I’m convinced that you put people in some kind of trance that forces them to stare at you incessantly – even when others are around!

Like this morning, for example, you had this woman so wrapped up in your spell that she wouldn’t move out of the middle of the way to let me through when I reached my floor. I LITERALLY had to shimmy my way around her even though you were out of sight temporarily!!  What the ham?!

[DEEP BREATH…AAAAAAAND, EXHALE]  

Okay, I get it, perhaps my anger is slightly misdirected….maybe I should be angered by the woman who can’t wait to get to the bathroom to touch up her hair or the guy who wants to get food out of his teeth. I mean, maybe it’s me and not you (I doubt it, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings and cause you to crack which might cause me years of “bad luck”).

*le sigh* I think we need a break. I’m sorry, but I think i’m gonna go with the stairs for a while. I might come back for quickie if i’m wearing exceptionally high heels, or I might not, but I think we need this time apart. 

Please don’t hate me.  Friends?  🙂

Love always,
Me ❤

Elevator Etiquette: Shhhh!!??

We’ve all heard of the usual elevator etiquette like, holding the doors if someone is coming, pressing the floor button if you’re the closest, standing away from the doors before they open to let anyone out before you barge on in, etc., but what about the elevator chatter?  More specifically, elevator chatter in your office building.

Sure, it’s polite to say some sort of salutation, or even smile to acknowledge their existence, if someone is already in the elevator, but then what?  If it’s just the two of you, or maybe even one other person, it can be SOOO uncomfortable to stand there to go up in complete silence.  Even if someone is going from the first floor to the second, are people secretly thinking, “why didn’t you just walk up the stairs?”  Or how about the mirrored elevator doors that both men and women check themselves out in as if they were alone?  I guess that’s really a whole other topic.

What I want to find out is: is it more polite to stand there in silence?  What if I’m getting on the elevator with another co-worker and we were in the middle of a conversation before we got on; does the conversation stop?  And vice versa.  If i’m getting on the elevator when others are in the middle of a conversation, do they stop?  Is it even rude?

Personally, I’ve  been on elevators where people were talking and they kept on talking and it’s no big wup to me because it sure beats the uncomfortable silence that I tend to experience.  And as far as continuing a conversation or not, I’ve done both.  I’ve stopped my conversation until I get off on my floor and I’ve continued other conversations.  For me it depends on how many people are in the elevator and, sometimes, WHO is in it.

I’m on the fence about how to handle these situations moving forward because recently I experienced a full elevator ride where I was talking with someone and another person felt the need to jump in on the conversation.  I turned to look at them because I didn’t hear what was said and I wasn’t sure if they were even talking to me/us?  After all, no one else on the elevator was talking so they must have been talking to us.  Anyway, I continued my conversation, only to be interrupted again with whatever it was they felt so compelled to contribute to my conversation.  It was odd.  Does this happen more often than I realize?  I was actually kind of put off about it, but i’m not one to be rude or nasty about things, so I just let it pass.  I smiled politely and stopped talking until we reached our floor.

Problem solved, right?  I’m just not sure about this.  I have so many questions that need answers – so many ‘what if’s’.  Maybe next time I should follow my usual MO and zip the lips since the elevator was full of people.