food

My perfectly hard boiled egg

I’ll admit it. I have Googled more than once, “how to boil an egg”.   There are just some things in life that are so simple, they must be done right.  I must know the best way to get it done.  Oddly enough, Martha Stewart’s instructions are featured first in my Google search results.  Her 2-step system seems simple enough and she even provides you with a video! (And in related news to the right, you can learn how to PEEL the damn thing!)

Silky, smooth perfection.

Silky, smooth perfection.

Indeed, it can’t be THAT hard to boil and egg, but you wouldn’t need a video on how to peel it if it was boiled correctly to begin with.  Here’s the thing: a perfectly boiled egg, not unlike a perfect cut of filet mignon lightly seasoned and seared to melt-in-your-mouth perfection, will practically slip right out of its shell, once cracked.  Personally, I gently roll the egg between my hands while applying just enough pressure to crack it and free it from its bondage.  I’m not gonna lie…from the first crack I know if it’s been boiled perfectly.  I just know.  I can FEEL it.  The excitement I get around 10 am in my office when it’s time for my mid-morning snack, that would be said hard boiled eggs, is like winning $1 off a $1 scratch ticket (I’m not hard to please – I like getting my money back).

I try to enjoy every little bite of protein that’s packed into those egg whites.  Which is why it displeases me IMMENSELY if my eggs aren’t boiled to silky smooth perfection!

Imagine, for a minute, that you’re getting ready for your daily hard boiled egg ritual while you’re at work.  You’re humming along to your favorite guilty pleasure pop beat and getting your space all prepared.  Napkin for the pre-peeled eggs.  Napkin for the post-peeled eggs.  Tiny salt packet.  Tiny pepper packet.  Perhaps some cayenne pepper or hot sauce that you keep in your top drawer under lock and key for nobody to steal.  You take that first egg out of the zip lock sandwich baggie and begin to roll that bad boy between your hands.  Adding pressure.  Then a little more pressure.  Then, in an act of denial, just a little bit more pressure to welcome that little egg’s goodness into the world and out of it’s shell.  But you stop. You can’t.  You freeze and stare at it in complete and utter disbelief.  Because you finally realize the truth.  The truth that no matter how hard you press, it’s just not happening.

Now you know.  The humming stops.  You slouch back into your seat.  Holding back tears of frustration as you come to grips with the hard fact that you are about to lose 20, maybe 30%, of your protein packed egg white to the egg peel that it’s stuck to.  And for what?!  Because it wasn’t boiled correctly?!  You try to think back.  Where did I go wrong?  Was the temperature on my conventional stove top not quite on medium?  Was there enough water to cover the eggs by exactly 1″? Do I need new pots?  Will my second egg be just the same? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!

Fortunately, there are nothing BUT simple answers.  You’re just going to have to salvage what you can and live to see another day…or go to the cafeteria and get a new egg cooked by someone else because SOMEHOW they always come out right.  Jerks.

The message is from the Man of the house, not the eggs.  They couldn't care less about my day.  They're dead.  :)

The message is from the Man of the house, not the eggs. They couldn’t care less about my day. They’re dead.

PS: If you thought this was going to be about something deeper than a hard boiled egg, I’m sorry if I disappointed you.  😉  #sorrynotsorry

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The Peer Pressure to Eat Right

Some days I just enjoy my life more than others.  I like that I have accidentally put myself in a position to unintentionally peer pressure someone into doing something they should be doing, like living a healthy life.  I don’t even have to say anything to get the ball rolling – it just happens and i’m pretty sure this is why:

INSPIRE OTHERS!

I’m a self proclaimed healthy eater who tries to follow the ole 80/20 Rule; although, there have been times where it was more like 70/30, or worse if i’m on vacation.   Eeeek!  More specifically, during the work week I eat healthy and on the weekends my eating habits can go a little awry.

In addition to that, around the office people generally assume that i’m training for something like a run, bike or triathlon, because I always get questions like, “when’s your next race?” or “what are you training for now?”.  Not that I blame them – I usually am.

Finally, to top it all off and probably the main reason, the Man of the house is a fitness expert and he works in the same building as I do.  So, if you know anything about “insider trading”, I feel like my association with him kind of works in the same way.  Since HE’S a fitness expert, naturally, I must be, too.

Because of all this, I can understand why people feel the need to explain themselves when they are getting food or chatting with me about the last time they were in the gym.  I have some people who see me and instantly give me unsolicited excuses, like:

“I know this looks bad, but it’s been a bad day/week.”  (Coincidentally, that’s an even worse reason to eat “bad” food.)
“I haven’t had [insert “bad” food here] in a very long time.”
“I’m not eating all of this right now.”
“I’m going to workout today.”
And the list goes on…

It almost makes me want to say, “I didn’t ask. I’m not judging you. Eat what you want to eat.”  Or, like the Man says,

“If you’re having a true cheat day, own it. Be proud of it. That means that you’re doing what you supposed to be doing at least 80% of the time. If not, you’re fooling no one but yourself.”
http://www.risetopurpose.com

But let’s face it, I see these people almost daily and I do care, so sometimes I let it go but, more often than not, I actually respond with some words of encouragement to get them back on track.  I might tell you 20 times that I want to see your booty in the gym with me and if I see you at least once, it’s worth it because that one time that I see you in there, i’m going to be your biggest cheerleader ever.  Don’t get me started on the benefits of leading a healthier life.  😉

If you don’t have a plan yet, get started today!  If you’ve hit a road block, tell me about it and i’ll help you over the hump!   I’m [subconsciously] peer pressuring you – AND I LIKE IT!!

The things I do for work – PART 1

I totally get that people have all kinds of odd jobs they do for their bosses on a regular basis and i’m not one to compare or say that what I’m doing is any better or worse, or however you want to look at it.  So, I have a boss that has his own funny way of asking me to do/get something for him, which I don’t mind doing, but sometimes they come with some [in]direct accusations, commentary, or quasi-PSA.

THE SODA INCIDENT.  I get a call from the boss yesterday and the conversation goes like this:

Boss: Do you have change for a $5?
Sidebar – I NEVER have change when he asks me and he asks on an almost daily basis, which makes me wonder why he constantly asks at all.
Me: No, i’m sorry, I don’t.
Boss: Oh, hmm……………*this silence felt like forever*…..
Me: (as if talking to a child): Are you thirsty?
Boss: Yeaaaaahhh, I kinda wanted a Coke Zero.
Me: Well, I have $1.25, I can at least get that for you.
Boss:  Great!!

I go to get the soda, and it’s actually a traumatizing experience to have to get his soda on a daily basis because a couple of years ago he actually accused me of shaking his soda before I delivered it.  He didn’t accuse me in a horrible, mean way, he just halfway joked and said, “hey, did you shake that soda?  It exploded when I opened it.”  I was so shocked and embarrassed that he would actually think i’d do that.  ME?!!!  Ever since that day, I have taken so much care in making sure that his soda doesn’t even land when it comes out of the vending machine.  I put my hands in there to “soften” the fall and everything!

Anyway, I go to get the soda and run through my routing of catching the soda as it comes down, but it feels hard – like it’s been shaken and is ready to explode.  NOOOOOOO!!! This can’t be happening!  I actually debate on buying another one and giving him the better of the two, but then again, what am I going to do with the other soda? So now, on my walk back to his office, I pray that he isn’t on the phone so I can tell him that he needs to give it a minute before he opens it…but what if he is on the phone? How am I going to tell him using hand gestures that he needs to wait?  Ugh!  My nightmares are becoming reality!  Okay, not really, but it did worry me for a half second.

Thankfully, he wasn’t on the phone.  I gave him his soda, he thanked me, and I told him to give it a few minutes because it felt solid and ready to blow, to which he responded with an ‘okay’.  It wasn’t a thankful okay, it was kind of like the okay that you get when someone hasn’t heard what you said and they are just agreeing with you.  The problem was, I was already halfway out the door by the time I remembered that he doesn’t hear very well and his hearing aid was on his desk………………..

Oh well, I did my part.  At least if it exploded I could say, with a clear conscience, “You didn’t hear me tell you to give it a minute?!”  🙂