Where I am

It’s day 76. I’m leaving another successful gathering with great food and amazing friends. I’m honored. I get in my car and turn it on to the sound of “Drops in the Ocean” by Hawk Nelson. My soul smiles and I begin to sing along.

As I drive, I’m reflecting on my weekend and the conversations I had with various people who crossed my path. People I haven’t seen in a while, people I am not close with, but also family and close friends. Yet, I connected with them all on some deep level about life and relationships (both friendly and intimate). Thank you. I can appreciate every moment of time I spent with each person because it contributed to my epiphany.

While the music of WGTS 91.9 feeds my soul, I begin to experience an overwhelming feeling of happiness and inner peace. I realized that I am truly at peace with myself – finally! I’m at peace with not only where I am in life, but who I am. For the first time, I feel like I am where I’m supposed to be, doing what I’m supposed to be doing, and going where He wants me to go. My purpose? Maybe. I certainly don’t have it all together and I never will, but I know I’m on the right path.

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”  – Luke 19:10

I’m home. In more ways than one, I’m home. I’m in my parking spot looking at my little home and I love it. Not everyone can say that they had that moment of clarity (for lack of a better word). People seem to look for their reason for being; at least I did. Now, I can smile because I love me and where I am. I can smile because it’s actually true. I’m blessed and I’m determined to do something big with the seed that’s been planted within me.

Inside, my puppy Bishop waits with extra excitement. It’s as if he knows I’m extra happy…ooooor, he has to pee. 😉



(Photo from – I read Purpose Driven Life years ago and I highly recommend it.)



I’ve mentioned my love of Depeche Mode in previous posts and to say that I love them is probably an understatement because I know every word to every song ever made.  Just about.  😉

Last year, while planning my wedding to the Mister, we couldn’t come up with a song that we would “perform” our First Dance to.  We never had a song that was “our song”.   We love music, but we didn’t have a song that spoke to us as our own like other couples seem to have.  So we put our pee-brains together to decide what we would dance to.  Out came the iTunes to go through the lists of songs that we collectively had – and there were a lot.  We actually came up with a bunch of choices, but none of them stood out as a good one.  (The John Legend All of Me song was played out, even though it was a great wedding song that everyone used and still use as their first dance.  *vomit*)   Then I found it….

Somebody by Depeche Mode

I. LOVE. THAT. SONG!  It expressed everything that we wanted in each other.  The Mister isn’t a Depeche Mode fan, but I thought I’d give it a shot anyway and when I suggested it, he actually said that it was the perfect song.  He liked it.  And that was that.  My heart was content and I was on cloud 9 thinking about and loving the fact that I could have a Depeche Mode song in the actual program of our wedding because, let’s face it, their songs aren’t ones to dance to like that.  I jump around and wave my arms all over, but that’s about it.  😀

I was reminded of this when I was on my way home yesterday and the song came on my playlist.  It’s been a very long time since I’ve heard it.  I’ve skipped it a few times because I was broken and didn’t want to hear it.  The words, which I have so awesomely included below for your reading pleasure, are heart-crushing when I consider that they meant so much for someone I loved.  And while it originally seemed like the song would be forever ruined by the memory of our first dance as Mister and Missus, it’s not ruined at all.  I can choose to let a song that I love be ruined or allow it to remain a favorite and keep the good memories that I had at that time.  The happy memories; assuming they come along with the song, which they did yesterday and I shed a teeny, tiny tear.  Thank the Lord Almighty for putting this understanding in my heart.

So, just in case you haven’t been mesmerized by the song, I have also included the best version of it in this video below because Martin Gore is just everything.  You’re welcome! (LOL  I’m such a giddy freak when it comes to them…and I don’t care.)

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who’ll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She’ll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She will hear me out
And won’t easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she’ll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who’ll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don’t want to be tied
To anyone’s strings
I’m carefully trying to steer clear
Of those things
But when I’m asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I’ll get away with it

The Concert Experience

I’m not big on going to concerts every time some band comes to town. I figure I have to REALLY like a band to pay that much to see them live.  For example, I would have paid to see Michael Jackson if I had the money. I love me some Britney Spears so I would pay to see her, too.  I’m sure there may be other exceptions, but none that I can think of right now.

Then there’s Depeche Mode.  I just love them. Always have.  Always will. So it’s a no-brainer that I would go to see them in concert. My 3 Seesters and I always go together and it’s always dubbed ‘the best concert ever.’  We wait in anticipation, year after year, for them to announce their tour dates and hope that they come close to where we live. This year they’re coming to Jiffy Lube Live in September – BUT WAIT, they’re going to be at The Midwest Bank Amphitheatre in August, in Chicago, where my little seester lives!!!??? We gotta go!  It’s a double whammie!  So, we get tickets, plan our trip and wait for the big day to come (which was bittersweet because one of my seesters couldn’t make it).  It was a bummer because things aren’t the same when the 4 of us aren’t together.

In the end, my seester’s husband came with us to ‘fill’ her spot and, thankfully, drove us. The place wasn’t far but it took us eternity to get there because traffic around that area was horribly managed! WE’RE GONNA BE LATE! There were 3 lanes of traffic merging into one and there were line cutters all over the place!  Seriously, why do you really think that YOU getting there sooner, is more important than the mile-long line of cars filled with people you are jumping in front of?? It got to the point where people were getting out of their cars and walking the rest of the way – my seesters and I did it, too. Of course, by the time we got out to speed walk the rest of the way, here comes my brother-in-law catching up to us because traffic is moving a little quicker now, so we jump back in.

Now we are parking and can hear the music – the opening act is still playing – YES!!!  We waste no time getting to our seats. The place is already packed and there are still people waiting to get in – the mood in the place was electrifying! I couldn’t stand to wait much longer. And, as if they knew my thoughts, the lights go down, Dave, Martin and Andy hit the stage, and me along with the rest of the audience leap out of our seats and scream in excitement.

But then something happened which I was none too pleased with. Cell phones went up everywhere!  Not to take pictures but to record it!! Are you serious!!? Even my older seester whipped out her phone for a brief snippet. This rubbed me the wrong way because, (a) now I can’t see the stage! All I see are arms and cell phone screens.  What the ham?! and (b) what do you think you’re going to get from the quality of that phone video? Nothing! You aren’t going to relive the concert that way. You’re only going to hear screaming and static and all you’ll see are lights and blurred people on stage, if that! Are you always this inconsiderate? Sheesh! Put the phone down and enjoy the moment! Enjoy the music. Why do electronics always have to rear their ugly heads into perfect moments? Don’t even get me started!

Thankfully, after the initial shock, I was able to calm down with my tasty beverage, find a good, mostly unobstructed line of sight, and totally scream and sing to my heart’s content as I enjoyed THE BEST CONCERT EVER!!!