stairs

My Letter to the Elevator

Dear Elevator Doors with Mirrors on the Inside,

I understand we have a love/hate relationship, but i’m beginning to think that I hate you more than I love you. I LOVE that you’re always there for me like nothing else, but i’m becoming irritated by your daily activity.  I’m not liking that you’re always there on a bad hair day, a bloated day, an unknown-rip-in-the-stocking day, a before-I-put-makeup-on morning, the occasional HORRIBLE zit day….and these are all days that I refuse to look at you but you just won’t let up! I’m convinced that you put people in some kind of trance that forces them to stare at you incessantly – even when others are around!

Like this morning, for example, you had this woman so wrapped up in your spell that she wouldn’t move out of the middle of the way to let me through when I reached my floor. I LITERALLY had to shimmy my way around her even though you were out of sight temporarily!!  What the ham?!

[DEEP BREATH…AAAAAAAND, EXHALE]  

Okay, I get it, perhaps my anger is slightly misdirected….maybe I should be angered by the woman who can’t wait to get to the bathroom to touch up her hair or the guy who wants to get food out of his teeth. I mean, maybe it’s me and not you (I doubt it, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings and cause you to crack which might cause me years of “bad luck”).

*le sigh* I think we need a break. I’m sorry, but I think i’m gonna go with the stairs for a while. I might come back for quickie if i’m wearing exceptionally high heels, or I might not, but I think we need this time apart. 

Please don’t hate me.  Friends?  🙂

Love always,
Me ❤

Advertisements